Wind reminds me of home.

I grew up in a little town in the middle of the desert. The town’s name was Winslow. I remember, when I was a kid, I thought they named it that as a joke. It sounded, to me, like people were saying WIND slow. The wind OFTEN blew there and when it did, it was never what you could call slow. (later I theorized that since the name was actually WIN slow they were just being honest because at the time it seemed our sports teams were slow to win. Most of the places I have lived though I have always been fairly comfortable with the wind. I never felt it bore me malice or ill will it just was and we got along. Unlike all the bullies it was my misfortune to encounter, seemingly on a regular basis. I would even, occasionally, feel a sort of kinship with the wind and, also occasionally, I was a little envious of the wind because it could go where it wanted, as it wanted and no one was a master of it. Sometimes I felt I could tell it or ask it to do things and in my fancies it might comply, but I was a kid then. Today though, that feeling of my youth leads me to a point where it simply reminds me of home. All the times I would walk out into the desert to get away from it all, to take some time for myself. The walks, the thoughts, the prayers, and the quiet joy of a stark beauty that surrounded me that only I was privileged to see in that moment. Good memories all. But, it doesn’t end there. The wind is a constant all around the world. And later spending time in other parts of the state… Hearing the wind rushing through the pine trees when I visited my dad’s work in the forest when he was a ranger, it sounded just like what I imagined the ocean sounding like. The nights I would sit on the rim of the Grand Canyon and watch the moonrise or the sunset. The times I would sit out in the middle of Doney Park east of Flagstaff and on a crisp cold night the only sound you would hear is the whisper of wind as it bumbled through the tumbleweeds and high grasses. Wind has always brought me comfort and it has always been a constant. I think it sums up the old saying, that “the only true constant is change”, very well. Wind brings rain and it takes it away. It creates the fun little cones or mini tornadoes, which kids in Winslow would try to catch, we called them dust devils. It scours the earth and it brings all kinds of change with it. We can see it in the media too. They use wind to mark changes. In Mary Poppins it is the wind that brings her and she promises that she will stay only until the wind changes direction. In The Wizard of Oz, it takes Dorothy on an adventure. In many different ways it has formed us as people. We get some of our old sayings from it… “the winds of war” or “the winds of change” or “gone with the wind”. O.K. that last one is a movie title. But really it has made a difference in war time and peace. It has brought storms and taken them away and given time it will reduce mountains to hills or less, and it can reduce a trailer park to sticks in seconds. It has moved us through early ships traveling across great oceans to playtime when we use it to power our paragliders, parachutes, sailboats, sail boards, and more. It has altered history. And still today we use it to provide power for our homes and we rely on it to help keep balance in the earth. Yes wind reminds me of home. But more, it allows us to move forward even while it can remind us of the past. So, for me, it is a gift from God and I am thankful for it.

Gift giving 101

Gift giving time is coming up and I have some advice for all of you out there. If you are going to get something for someone try to get them what they want. I already know that some people who read this post are going to think that I am incredibly selfish or ungrateful or something but I really have to go here… I mean, I do not get it. If you want to please someone by getting them something they want, you can ask them what they want but if you do maybe you should focus on getting them what they asked for, unless what they asked for is really unreasonable due to cost or accessibility. Why do so many people want to get something for someone but they ignore what that person wants? I like the tv show Frasier. And there is one episode where Christmas is coming up and it comes out that Frasier always gets people gifts that he thinks people OUGHT to like. Or things that he thinks will “Expand their horizons” or whatever. All those gifts were wasted. It did not matter how expensive they were, they were all gifts that the recipient simply had no use for or just plain didn’t want. I once had a relative who always wanted to get me something for gift giving occasions. I loved this person very much and I never wanted to hurt anyone's feelings, so every time this person gave me a gift I accepted the gift graciously and made a big show of how wonderful it was that I was thought of, and it was. There was no lie or deceit involved there. I mean do not get me wrong I appreciated the sentiment behind the gift and all. The problem was that the gift/s I received were totally worthless to me. I would get things that were thought of as a good investment to collect in because they would accrue interest, and maybe be worth something someday. Well I had NO interest in collecting things like that. In fact at the time I was interested in collecting maps and baseball caps. If that is your goal get me a savings bond. Ultimately, not only did they not develop any intrinsic collectors value, most of them were lost because of moving around and the fact that I just had no place to keep them. If this person would have just asked first I could have helped them to find me a gift that would have been more… well more ME. How about, have you ever been asked “what do you want for ________________?” Put whatever gift giving occasion on that line that you want… Birthday, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, Father’s day, Mother’s day or Graduation… I mean really, If you are going to ask someone what they want for a gift giving occasion, why do you then turn around and get them something that doesn’t really fit? I have had many occasions to answer such a question. My response usually is to direct the giver(s) to my Amazon wish list. Then the people I would have most expected to go through with the opportunity afforded, that is the chance to get me something I really, that is REALLY REALLY REALLY would like, Instead go and get me something else. Something that does not really fit ME. Or they will go out and get something close to what I asked for. I remember once I asked for a portable CD player. Instead I got a tape player. The reason for the CD player was because I was trying to get rid of my tapes. Or, for example I might have things on my wish list like The first t.v. season of Monk or Psych. So they go and get me a Sherlock Holmes book, one that cost twice as much as either of those other options by the way. Now did I say I want a Sherlock Holmes book? No. But that is what I might get. The reasoning (when tactfully asked) might be along the lines of, “Well you said you like Monk and Psych and these stories are just like that… in fact they are even better because these stories are the ORIGINAL version which those shows just rip off.” Or “well this seemed like a good fit.” Or “this is Culturally classic and has better value.” Or… well you get my point. In short this is the gift GIVER trying to make the gift RECEIVER into a person that they think that person ought to be. In short you are saying then that the person you are buying for does not measure up to your expectations and that you want to change them into someone different. Now how does that sound? “Happy birthday, I think you are stupid!”? That may not be what YOU mean to say but if you use a gift giving occasion to try to make a person into something new that is what you are inadvertently saying. So if I asked for Monk or Psych, I do not necessarily want to read about some stodgy old fart running about London, doing opium, and being rude trying to deal with criminals or crimes that are boring or so distant that they do not have any interest for me. OR maybe I asked for Monk or Psych because I currently OWN all the Sherlock Holmes books already and I want to watch these because they are like Sherlock Holmes. But by you getting me that Sherlock Holmes book you are telling me that you think MY form of entertainment is just not good enough (which equals I am not good enough) and so you want to improve my tastes (make me better). O.K. enough about the giver... let's talk about the givee. If someone comes to you and asks what you want, you ought to try to be thoughtful about it. Tell them what you want, give them options and do not try to ask for things that are super expensive. Think of the position the gift giver might be in. and do not get greedy or whatever… (My Amazon wish list has a variety of things on it that I like that are both inexpensive and expensive. Both needs and wants, both fun and useful.) And when they give you a gift that is really useless (like that ceramic elephant) just smile say “thank you” be gracious and make sure that you remember who gave it to you. That way when you re-gift it, you do not give it back to the person who gave it to you. On the other hand, If you are the person who gave that ceramic elephant, remember (1) Once the gift is given it belongs to the person you gave it to. It is theirs to do with as they see fit. (2) If you see them giving it away (or selling it) do not be offended, try to keep in mind that maybe they want (or need) other things and try to be more thoughtful of the gifts you give them. Keep these tips in mind and maybe this year you will score big time in the gift giving arena.

Can we really make it all safe?

I heard a rather silly commercial on the radio the other day. In the commercial they asked us to all think about all the different things that people said would never happen, manpowered flight, Women allowed to vote, going to the moon. Then they stated that they had a goal of making it so “no child will ever have to die from a preventable cause.” They tried to convince me (us?) that this was a goal that could be accomplished just like all the examples they cited before. Here is the issue with which I have a problem. Any time that we work to prevent a death or event like that from happening we create a situation where the same conclusion can occur simply from a different cause. Look at it like this. My 6 year old daughter is interested in cooking and we are helping her learn to cook. Now in the kitchen she could drop a knife and cut a major artery and she dies. Or she could spill hot grease on herself and burn herself to the point that she dies. Or she could scald herself again to the point where she does not survive. ALL of these are preventable deaths. BUT if she does not learn how to cook she could end up dying of starvation when something happens that is unavoidable (she grows up and moves out on her own. Her mother and I die and she cannot fend for herself. Whatever.) Those second chances are also preventable… by teaching her how to cook. For that matter if she gets a hold of water that is full of disease that could kill her that is a preventable death. But the way to prevent it is to keep her from drinking. That means that she will die of dehydration… A preventable death. But if we give her water, water that is safe to drink because we filtered it and boiled it and made sure there are NO microbes at all… then she drowns while trying to drink it… that is a preventable death. The only way to make sure she does not drown or choke to death while eating or drinking is to keep all food and drink away from her. By keeping food and drink out of her reach, I am preventing her from dying from choking, and the statistics on how many children die that way are still fairly grim. But by denying her access to food and drink she will starve to death or die of dehydration. Which is preventable by my giving her food and drink, it becomes a catch 22. In short there is really no way whatsoever to stop a child from dying from a preventable death without opening that child to another way to die from preventable causes. What I mean to say is, almost all deaths are, in some way, preventable You can prevent a child from ever dying in a vehicular accident. Never let the child go anywhere. If the child never boards a plane, never gets in a car, never goes on a bus, the child will never be in a position to die in a vehicle. But then you better not let the child out of the house they might run in the street in front of a car or bus and then… But if you keep the child in the house all the time that child never gets the health benefits of exercise outdoors and so he/she dies from poor health. A preventable death. I guess the real problem I had with that commercial starts with the fact that they never defined what is a preventable death. As far as I know, when it comes to children, There are no “natural causes” that really apply to children in death. But in endeavoring to prevent one, most of the time, you will risk another. Are there things that can cause death in a child, which we can prevent? Yes. Are these things that do not put the child’s health or life at further risk? Yes. But part of life is risk. I take a risk getting out of bed in the morning. I take a risk making my breakfast and I take a risk eating. When I go to work there is risk And I never know but that I may not return home at night after work. These are all calculated risks and I have survived my decisions for 41 years thus far… ( I know knock on wood… but that could cause me to get a splinter which could go septic which could make me have to go to a doctor which could mean I will be in an accident which could kill me. And if I survive the trip to the doctors then I might die on the way home. Or I might pick up a disease at the doctor’s which will kill me. Better not to go. But then if it does turn septic I could get an infection and die. Do you see my point? Whether for the sake of our children or for our own sake, If we always live in fear of what MIGHT happen then we simply stop living. And THAT is a fate worse than death.