Children and Marriage

In today’s culture I see a lot of problems. And frankly I do not know how to address them when talking with my children. The biggie that hit me most recently was about being faithful to your marriage vows. I know several people who have been less than faithful. And I see/hear the reports in the news. It seems to be the “In thing” to get a divorce today. Then we have groups of people saying they want to change the fundamental understanding of what marriage even is. So what is marriage then? Well I would say that it is what happens when two people love each other and want to stay together forming a family. But if everyone is getting divorced right and left then what hope is there for that ideal? What is love? In first Corinthians (chapter 13 verses 4-7ESV) Paul tells us… “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast, it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on it’s own way’ it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things”. The point here is that Love requires active work. We cannot think only of ourselves or our needs. We have to think of the other/s whom we profess to love. This is even truer in Marriage. For a good marriage to work BOTH sides have to come together to work at it side by side in the long haul. A lot of people get focused on the wedding and fail to think past that point. Now a wedding can be a very stressful event. And marriage can be stressful. I think that a wedding’s preparations are designed to be pretty stressful so that you can get the idea of how well you work together as a couple is stressful situations. The problem is that a wedding is designed with a goal in mind. A sprint if you will. A marriage however is a long-term deal. A marathon in comparison. The thing is that this marathon has no end in sight... I do not mean this to sound like it is a negative. But I would advise you to think about it. When you look at your beloved’s face can you wake up next to that daily for the rest of your life? What will you do when she gets cancer? Are you prepared to care for her? What will you do when he has a stroke? Are you prepared to do all the things for him that he can’t? This might include bathing him/her. Giving your loved one medicine/s cleaning up vomit or worse. Can you put his/her needs above your own? Even if it going to be for the next year? What if it is for the next 5 years or 15? Love isn’t just about feeling. Love is work! When he wants to watch Football, are you ok with that? Can you let him do that? Even though you want to go out to dinner? What about when she wants to go look at fabric and patterns at the fabric store. Can you go along and support her? Even if that means you have to give up the fishing trip? That is what love is. Putting their needs above your own. And it is not easy, BUT it IS worth it.