the history of some monsters

To finish out my treatise on favorite horror stories I wanted to talk about the possible reasons for these thoughts and ideas having come up in the first place. Zombies are actually a religious expression from the voodoo religion. They would drug people and put them into trances and those people would have exhibited all the tendencies of a dead man. So that is actually a normal idea. The original zombies however would not have more than a passing resemblance to current ones. They were hypnotized or drugged people who were under the control of, often unscrupulous, voodoo practitioners. Vampires and werewolves were an attempt to figure out the vagaries of human kind and they also might have had something to do with the deficiencies in medical knowledge of the day. There were times when people were buried before they were REALLY dead. As miracle max put it they were only mostly dead. Sometimes peoples bodies were misdiagnosed as being dead. In fact a lot of our tradition today comes from that fact. The viewing of the body, the Irish wake these are reflections of those times. Also many of our phrases come from that time too. Like graveyard shift, or saved by the bell. The graveyard shift, and saved by the bell both come from how people were sometimes buried alive. At some point people realized that people were not always dead when they went into that hole. In order to make sure only the dead were truly buried they would leave a hole in the coffin top and tie a string to the finger of the body. After tying that to a bell above ground, if the body moved the bell would ring and so they could be saved by the ringing of that little bell. But in order to hear it sometimes you had to have someone on duty late at night in the graveyard to listen for that bell. Thus graveyard shift. By the way, Ghouls were people who would dig up corpses for the money they might be able to get from stealing from the bodies. Hmm maybe that was how they found out that some of the dead weren’t really dead when they were buried… Anyway now you know… if you want to know more there is lots of research out there to look into.

A series on monsters 3

Werewolves among us? Today’s installment in the horror theme thing is werewolves. A man is bitten by a wild creature, then on the next full moon he finds out that his razor is just not doing the job anymore. Spooky. What can we use against werewolves in our defense? Wolfsbane (good luck tracking that down) or silver bullets. (in this economy???) But they are stopable. So what makes them so scary? Well like both our predecessors in this series the first creep out is that they can turn you into them. The second is the lack of control, unless you get some REALLY thick curtains you will always have to be worried about that sneaky moon. You will be following that sucker more than a UFO nut. Again it would appear that werewolves have a really good PR guy. They are certainly gaining popularity. Still they are supposed to be scary. I think the thing that most makes them scary is that they could be ANYONE. It could be your best friend or your mom or dad or even, in some scenarios, you yourself. Think about that if you will. Still if you are a werewolf this is not the end of the world. I mean, after all, on the positive list you have, being a were wolf means you will not have to worry about balding. Unlike vampires you can still enjoy a nice Italian bistro, and there will be periods of time when you can relax knowing that at least for this one night of the month you will NOT be a bloodthirsty hairy monster. So enjoy this Halloween and try not to eat any of the trick or treaters.

A series on monsters 2

Ok so October has arrived and been here for a while. With this month we will start seeing more horror movies airing on t.v. we will see witches hats and vampire fangs on the shelves in our stores and we will soon see all the little goblins and ghouls roaming our streets looking for sweet treats. SO I want to start looking at the logic of our favorite horror figures For example tonight I want to talk about zombies. Do they make any sense? Honestly I have seen a lot of takes on what a zombie is and what creates them or motivates them. I have read books and watched movies and listened to the stories. I am NOT going to get into the history of the zombie “legend” here, I may save that for another blog later. But I do want to see how viable they are. First almost all the stories/legends/myths focus on the apparent motivation. The motivation is the main point to the whole Zombie Genre… What makes the zombie scary? Is it fast? No not usually. Is it smart? Nope, not too much intelligence. Maybe it is because they are sneaky? No… they are pretty straightforward. The thing that makes them scariest is because they keep coming and coming. They don’t stop! And then, the crowning touch, the piece de resistance, They turn you into one of them! But is that what motivates them? They want to make more zombies? No their motivation seems to be simple hunger. We all can understand that. But what do they eat? Brains. Any brains? No, human brains. And that is all there is to it. Next aspect… How do zombies usually make new zombies? Their bite can turn a person from human to zombie. So how do we stop the zombie? Shoot it in the head. Destroy the brain. Well wait a minute here!!!! If the food the zombie wants is your brain where is it going to go for when it attacks you? They go for the head, the brains. But if the new buffet has no brains then how does it turn into one of the undead? It can’t. so logically zombies are impossible or at least so extremely inefficient that they are really not that scary. So as you go out there for your little thrills and scares do not worry about that pasty weirdo coming after you with the skin rotting off his body. It is probably just someone who really wants your tootsie roll stash. Then again maybe the stories have gotten it all wrong and they are coming out there… No no just kidding.

A series on monsters

Vampire time. Well today I want to continue what I started in my last blog with a break down of our favorite horror stories. Tonight it is the old standby, Vampires! Now these guys are a little more believable than our prior subject. They are simply after blood. They do not resort in wholesale harvesting of their victims like zombies do, they can turn you into one of them but there is control. And they are smart. Most of the time your modern vampire could be portrayed as stylish, suave even sophisticated. While the current trend is to make them more inviting and desirable, they are a very strong staple of the horror genre from time immemorial. The original vampires were NOT handsome pale heart breakers. If you watch the old time Black and White “Nosferatu” you will see a misshapen wretch who had a power of hypnosis over his (it’s ?) victims. To me this one is far more believable because it has more weaknesses. But also because of how it has been treated by popular culture. I mean think about it. Here is a creature that started out despised and truly horrible and now it has become something to be lusted after. I mean that really sounds to me like a VERY good P.R. job on the part of the coalition of vampires. First they went from misshapen things, to suave debonair gentlemen of the night. Then from there to desirable young men (and women) to the current idea of them being a preferred “mate” for real human beings. Sounds like about the best P.R. job in the entire history of earth. I guess that means we better all stock up on Holy water, garlic and wooden stakes. Of course there is no real evidence that vampires are real. But maybe you better be prepared